The Leopard's Spots
by My Lion
Summary: "Bella?" he asked, shocked. "Hey, Dick" she said sarcastically. "Erm.. Its Edward actually". "I know". FULL SUMMARY INSIDE!


The Leopards Spots

Full Summary: "Bella?" he asked, shocked. "Hey, Dick" she said sarcastically. "Erm.. Its Edward actually". "I know". Superstar Edward Cullen, biggest thing to ever have hit Hollywood, and also the biggest asshole. Ever. One complete bender and a couple of cops later, Edward Cullen has landed himself in serious trouble. Enter Bella Swan, hard-ass lawyer. Ex-best friend of said superstar, and proud of it. And she's the only one that can help him...

Chapter 1

**BPOV**

I had been staring at the computer screen onwards of 15 minutes. This case was particuly difficult as it just so happened the person I was meant to be defending, George Strait, was the Biggest. Prick. Ever. Apart from visually molesting me everytime I was within a range of 30 metres, he was also trying to take a house from his 7th ex-wife and kids. Sometimes I wondered if I gave him the good old fashioned fist to face therapy, he would back the fuck down, but aparently it was illegall to assult him. Illegal my ass. I would mess him up.

I groaned, putting my face in my hands. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but sometimes the only people rich enough to hire me were funnily enough, the biggest assholes to ever grace the planet. Why I always end up helping them out? Because I had a terminal problem of attempting to see the good in everyone and every situation. Yes. It is unfortunatly true.

I was pulled out of my stupor by my office door being exploded open by my saviour. My god happened to be Damien, my personal assistant and trusted wardrobe/guy consultant. Gay? Yes. Awesome? Shit yeah.

"Bella!" he chirped, whirling around the room with his notepad and pen.

"Damien, get me my freaking coffee. Now." I grumbled.

Ignoring my comment, he came to a halt in front of my new glass topped desk, ready to give me the Morning Report. It really was a shame that Damien was gay. He would be a complete winner with the ladies. He had bright blue eyes, neatly styled black hair and a smile so white I kinda flinched every time I saw it.

He cleared his throat and began to read from his obnoxiously pink notepad.

"Okay Belliecake, Mr and Mrs Simtherson have schedueled a meeting at 10:30 to go over their divorce settlement; you need to call back Savannah Williams about her house insurance before 3:00; the article in the Times about you being a coniving ho is in your pigion hole and a guy named Jasper left a message." He panted.

"Oh? What did it say?" I asked. My older brother, Jasper, had called me last week to say he might be coming to visit from our home town, good ol' Forks. He was a kindy teacher there to the Cutest. Kids. Ever. But because of this he rarely got away, so I was looking forward to seeing him.

"Erm... he said he wants to dip you in caramalised jelly crystals and lick you out like a sweet lollyp-"

"Okay, no need to hear the rest" I interrupted quickly. Definatly not my brother. But yes. Highly disturbing. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'd recently began to relise that as soon as you put Damien in charge of your publicity cough30footposterofmecough, there were bound to be perverts lurking about.

"I don't know why you refuse to call these people back Bells. They sound... nice" Damien smirked at me.

"Yeah but unfortunatley I don't count being raped in an alley...nice" I replied."So, um could you please tell the secretary to ring Carlisle and Esme Cullen and tell them that I'll be over for dinner at around 7:30?"

"Sure Bells" he said scurrying out of the room with a fluffy pink pen in tow.

**EPOV**

Fuck I felt like piss. After last night, I'm surprised my liver doesn't just pack up and fucking leave. What the hell _had_ happened last night?

I slowly opened my crusty eyes and was met my a hazy vision of someones... crack? FUCK! I leapt up so fast, I'm surprised my stomach didn't fall out my ass. Okay, what did I know for sure? One: I was naked except for a bright red thong. Two: I had a guys hairy ass instead of a babe next to where my head was. And Three: The strippers last night were a bad idea.

Fuck.

I stumbled around the kitchen I had passed out in, kicking cigerettes, booze bottles and people out of my way as I felt around for some clothes. After I pulled on my jeans that were hanging from the freezer and my black wife beater that was stuffed in a toaster, I made the way into the loungeroom to find best mate, Emmett on the floor, naked.

Okay, why the fuck was everyone fucking strewn around Emmetts apartment, naked? I'm not one for man orgies, so that was definately out. I nearly shit my pants when a hairy, fat guy snored so loudly he fell off the dinning table. He was so wasted he didn't even stir. And who the hell was he?Thank god Emmett didn't talk me into having it in my penthouse.

I walked over to Em and gave him a kick. He muttered something that distinctly sounded like 'I have no penis', then rolled over.

I sent a glare his way and made for the front door. Fuck that. No way was I gonna stick around to deal with helping clean Em's bomb of an apartment. No. Way. Em could deal with that. When I got in the elevator, I hit the ground floor for the cafe. The bartender, Jack, could whip up the best hangover treatment in town. I grabbed my phone to check the time. It was 1:25pm. Ah hell. Just then, my phone sounded and a message came through.

_Edward,_

_Dinner is on at 7:30 if you'd like to come. You haven't been able to for weeks and your father and I miss you_

_Love, Mom_

I ran my hand through my messy bronze hair. No Thanks. Sure, I loved my folks, I but I was so not falling for that shit. They were just gonna chew me out like they did last time about the lastest article showing how I was into drugs or some shit. I drank and slept around, sure, but sorry. I don't pop pills.

The elevator dinged open on the ground floor and in walked one hot piece of ass. Long blonde sex hair, pouty lips and the skimpyest scrap of dress I had ever seen. Fuck. _Yes_. I gave her my trademark crooked smile, my eyes hooded with lust and... I was in! Ha! No one could resist Edward Cullen, celebrity. I backed her into the elevator wall and hit penthouse.

Well, a few rounds of my favourite game couldn't hurt.

**BPOV**

_Ding_

**Hi Bella. Call Me**

_Ding_

**Bella? Where are you?**

_Ding_

**Bella are you ignoring me?**

_Ding_

**Right, I'm coming over**

_Ding_

**Bella?**

_Ring,Ring,Ring,Ring_

My eyes shot open at my fimiliar ring tone. My office was its usual chaos, but this time it was dark...it was dark? I gasped, quickly peeling my face from the desk and blindly feeling for my phone.

"H-H-Hello?" I yawned into the receiver.

"Bella? What the hell? I've been trying to reach you for half and hour already!"

"Alice?"

"Yes! Who the heck did you think it was?" she chirped.

"Erm... i dunno? What t-t-time is it?" I yawned again.

"It's 8:30pm! I thought you had DIED or something!" she yelled

"8:30? SHIT! I-I gotta go Alice, I'll be over in a sec! Tell Esme and Carlisle I'll be right there!" I panicked.

I hung up and burst out of my seat, sending it flying across the room.

_Fuck!_

Feeling around my desk for the car keys and my bag, I flew out of the office and down the stairs, nearly breaking my face on the handrail. As I reached the deserted carpark, I stopped, snapped out of my mad rush.

I felt eyes. On my back. I whirled around and nearly smacked my head on a broad chest. Fucking _sweet._

"Hey Bella!" boomed the deep, husky voice.

"FuckMeUpThe... Em?" I squeaked, startled.

"Up the...? Sure!" Emmett smirked.

I let myself relax into his strong, defined arms. Not a crazy country town hick/molestor tonight. Thank shit.

I had been dating Emmett McCarty for about 3 months now, and loving every second. He was so sweet and I had found no one had ever treated me so good as he had. Ever. I'm suprised, 'cause bar flies aren't supposed to make for good long term boyfriends. A quickie on the dancefloor, yeah, but boyfriend? Guess so.

I looked up, smiling at his beautiful dimpled face, laced with his dark curls. _Have my fucking babies, beautiful. _

He swooped in for a breathtaking kiss and I melted. Like always.

"Em, what are you doing here? You scared the crap outta me!" I murmmured.

"Thought I'd drop in for a quick fuck on your desk. Game?" he grinned.

"Emmett, you know I'm going for dinner tonight" I sighed slapping his chest

"Babe, c'mon, I didn't drive out here for a kiss. I want the package." his eyes raked over me. "And a fucking good one at that".

I pecked his cheek and stepped out of his arms.

"Look, I really gotta go Em. I'll be home at around 10:30- ish. Wait on my bed. naked... with sushi"

I yanked my faithful, rusty red Chevy's door open, and dived inside. I fumbled with the keys, got them in then reved the engine.

"Bye Em!" I yelled out the window as I drove away from his smirking face.

Boy was I in for it tonight. But who am I too complain?

**Hey Peeps!**

**Okay, lets get everything straight - **

**1. I changed my name from cullenfan101 to My Lion.**

**2. Yes, I did take down my other stories, but they will be up again soon.**

**3. This is is a new story and I will be concentrating on it for now.**

**Phew! Well I hoped you enjoyed chapter 1. It's a bit hurried, but this story is a little bit of fun to write. I hope you guys like it. I'll update as often as possible, but don't expect once a day updates. I'll aim for once a week. :P**

**Enjoy! - Hayley**


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